Relationships !!
One of the deepest and most
pressing needs for humanity is to have trusting, fulfilling relationships--so
much so that some people are willing to settle for second best. Take a minute
to think about relationships you have had or those you have now. Do these relationships
build you up by encouraging you and affirming you as a person or are these relationships
soul draining, energy zapping and leaving you with feelings of resentment, depression,
hopelessness, frustration, guilt, shame and being used?
“Many people in destructive
relationships don’t recognize them for what they are,” “Destructive
relationships can occur with parents, children, coworkers, supervisors, male
and female friends, siblings, spouse or significant other. The relationship does
not have to be violent and most frequently is not. Just because you don’t have
a black eye or a broken arm does not mean the relationship isn’t destructive.”
Emotional abuse
– exits when the intent is to destroy a person’s spirit and crush their self-
esteem.
This type of abuse reveals
itself in jealous and controlling behavior. The abusive person is always checking
in, they often blame the other person for everything and never take
responsibility for their own behavior.
Physical abuse
– While we think of males assaulting females, female to male physical violence
has tripled in the last two years
If you believe you are in a destructive relationship
here are some things to remember:
• Love is a behavior, not a
feeling. Look at the way a person treats you, not how you think they feel about
you or what you believe their intent would be.
• In any relationship you
have, when you get that creepy feeling in your stomach., ask yourself at that very
moment – “Would I consider this loving behavior?” – often the answer will be NO.
• It is very difficult to
stay in a relationship where you acknowledge the behavior is unloving. If you acknowledge
the behavior as unloving and you choose to stay, you are a part of the problem
and you should seek help.
You always have options.
There are three things that we have control over in life – our thoughts,
behaviors and reactions. We cannot control the way somebody treats us, but we
do have 100 percent control over how we react – whether you stay, leave, speak
up or accept it.
Dr .Shilpa Harwani
Consulting Homoeopathic Psychiatrist, Counselor & Psychotherapist
BGR MIND CLINIC & BLISS Counseling n Psychotherapy Centre.
Amravati
drshilpaharwani@gmail.com
